tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-39383548735795802042024-03-13T23:55:17.032-07:00Sherpa / MommyNavigating this tricky terrain...Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.comBlogger37125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-37262252991396206832014-03-17T07:12:00.000-07:002014-03-17T07:12:17.375-07:00A Better Kind of Spring<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s been so long since I’ve written anything! I hate when I
do that, and I think I figured out why it happened this time. I tend to write
more when I’m struggling. It’s a means for me to get my own thoughts and
feelings straight. I’m not sure why writing works for me, but it does! I want
to share my struggles in the hopes that just one person would see it and might
realize that they aren’t alone on this scary journey. I’ve gained so much
insight and help from reading about other families that I hoped to pass a
little of that on. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I guess that means the good news is that we aren’t
struggling so much. It just sort of snuck up on me. All of a sudden every
thought and action wasn’t tied up in something related to autism or figuring
out what the next move is. All of a sudden we’re in a good place, Liam is
happy, and we’re content with where things are. All of a sudden I’m back to
thinking about taking care of other things and maybe even thinking about taking
care of myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I think back to where I was this time last year. I was not
in a good place. We were in the midst of preparations for the huge transition to
public school and saying good-bye to full time ABA therapy. I was terrified. I
was sure Liam would end up in a broom closet somewhere with people who didn’t
care about him at all, scared to death and regressing into who knows what. I
was preparing for the battle of a lifetime with the decision makers and the
service providers at this school. I was considering leaving a great company
simply because I was positive that Liam couldn’t handle before and after school
care – and summer camp? Forget it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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None of my fears came true. Not one. The IEP team offered
everything I was prepared to demand and defend. His teacher-to-be asked
thoughtful questions about our son. The summer camp allowed Liam to become
familiar with the school and the LOUD DRYERS and the playground and the gym and
the fire alarms. He also met some kids that are the same kids he’s with before
and after school. This group truly looks out for Liam. He started first grade
and has definitely had some challenges, stumbling blocks, and meltdowns along
the way. Homework is HARD, Friday test days are HARD, sitting still and being
quiet are HARD, knowing how to talk to others is HARD. But he’s winning
everyone over like he always does with his sweet self and his fascinating mind.
Both his teacher and the resource teacher are accessible any time I need or
want to chat. Liam just got his second invitation to a birthday party for a
classmate. He has a group of girls who mother him and make sure he’s okay. He
talks to the custodians and the lunch ladies and the nurse and the ladies in
the office. He knows kids who aren’t in his class and what teachers they have.
He is talking so much and saying things all the time that just shock us! He has
come so far out of his shell that sometimes even I don’t recognize him. Liam
LOVES everything about this school.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Liam is in a mainstream first grade class. No one would
argue that he has the most aggressive first grade teacher in the building. He
actually says that he wants his first graders to be ahead of all of the other
first graders in the state. That would have been great for a kid like me, but
for Liam it made me nervous. However, his teacher is great at getting to know
each student and reach them where they are, and gets creative when he needs to.
Liam has an aide in the classroom at all times who helps him to stay focused.
He gets speech and OT, encouragement socializing on the playground if he is
having trouble, and extra breaks during the day when he needs them. He takes
his hardest tests in the resource room so there are fewer distractions. I get a
head’s up when there are planned drills or assemblies so I can help prepare
Liam. I can come to school whenever I want. Liam is getting good grades. When
we got his first report card, he had a C in reading. At our parent-teacher
conference, I asked if you can pass with C’s. Apparently C is average and is
indeed a passing grade…Ha!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today I dropped Liam off at the before school care group,
and on my way out, ran into his resource teacher. She said, “Hey Becca! Send me
some dates and times that work for you and your husband for Liam’s IEP.” I said
“Okay, do I need to call someone to schedule that?” She gave me this blank look
and said, “No, I’m taking care of everything. Liam’s mine until he finishes
fifth grade.” I know that as parents we have certain rights and can request
certain things at certain times…I’m just so glad that this isn’t a constant fight.
I’m so relieved that it really feels like we have a team. I’m not naïve enough
to believe that we’ll never have to struggle with all of this again. If at any
point this becomes not the right thing, then I’ll jump back in and figure out
what is. For now, though, I’m going to rest knowing that Liam is in good hands.
He’s come so far in the last year…and so have I!<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter if the people at the
school have specific experience and proven success with autism. What matters
most is that the people that Liam is with every day care about him enough to
get to know him and what makes him tick. That goes for every child, special
needs or not. So far, I’ve seen this demonstrated over and over, and I believe
that is why it works – not because they have tons of special training, but
because they care. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This is the first spring in several years that I haven’t
been buried in one mess or another, and I intend to enjoy it!! <o:p></o:p></div>
Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-39541887859543426442013-09-05T08:47:00.001-07:002013-09-05T08:47:23.771-07:00Picture Day<div class="MsoNormal">
Today is picture day, and Liam was so excited this morning.
He only argued only for a minute when I put a shirt on him with a collar and
buttons. I asked him how he was going to smile, and he gave me this crazy,
exaggerated grin that would scare turn even the saddest person happy. “No, not
like that, Liam! A REAL smile! Can you do a real smile?” I asked. General
confusion followed. Then I felt bad, because I certainly didn’t mean to steal
his joy, and his cheeeezzzy smile is still cute and miles past the blank stare
that we used to be so familiar with! I am still learning when to let him be himself
and when to try to correct him or guide him in another direction. One thing I
know for sure it that I’m happy when he is happy! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Happy picture day! <o:p></o:p></div>
Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-77534155564592804082013-08-20T16:25:00.000-07:002013-08-20T16:29:25.283-07:00This may be familiar to you...Good news! <a href="http://www.autismcompanion.com/liam/" target="_blank">I'm published! </a> Of course, if you're one of the three people that read my ramblings, this will mostly look familiar to you, because its basically a speedy "from then til now" about my boy and the beginning of our journey.<br />
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A friend I met through the ABA center has struck out on her own and started this amazing resource: Autism Companion. It is focused on the Indianapolis area, but of course the information and content is universal! It will be available in print and online. I am lucky enough to have played a very tiny role in this, and am excited to see how far it goes!<br />
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<br />Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-72503246275645311122013-06-04T15:53:00.001-07:002013-06-04T17:08:01.396-07:00The Next Thing<p dir=ltr>Liam is officially done with ABA therapy. It's so strage because we worked SO HARD to get it for him, and now we're voluntarily moving on. I'll write about the recent IEP soon, but for now, for the summer, Liam is going to the YMCA day camp that is held at the elementary school where he will be in first grade next year.  </p>
<p dir=ltr>I'm happy to report that he is doing great! Two of the four staff members have experience with kiddos with autism and sensory stuff, and so far there have been no more than eight kids there. EIGHT! There may be as many as ten. I think we lucked out. As a bonus, Liam will be familiar with the school itself by the time August rolls around. </p>
<p dir=ltr>He keeps asking, "Mommy, I work at camp tomorrow?" He's never had a summer break that he can remember.  He'll be working at home, but only if I can keep him awake past dinnertime! Poor kid doesn't know how to handle playing all day.      </p>
<p dir=ltr>The transition is bittersweet, as he had to leave people he knew, loved, and who loved him back. For me too, because of the fear of the unknown.  So far (if two days count) those fears have been unrealized. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I've been so terrified of this change and I'm feeling some relief in the fact that little Liam has not shown a single ounce of fear or nervousness. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Here's to the next thing, and to taking the next breath.</p>
Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-55493620400197685362013-05-14T14:07:00.001-07:002013-05-14T18:38:45.356-07:00Waiting<div dir="ltr">
I'm sitting here waiting for Liam's van to get here so we can go home. They are late, and my mind is wandering. I've spent what feels like a good portion of the last three years waiting for this van, and it's all over in two and a half weeks. I can vividly remember being choked up watching the van with "Applied Behavior Center for Autism" painted on the side drive off with Liam. I used to get such crazy mixed up emotions: disbelief that my child could be on that van in the first place, gratitude that we were able to make it happen for him, and worry. Always worry. I'm coming full circle now because the van and everything it stands for has become familiar. Comfortable. The gratuitude is still there, for how far Liam has come. The worry is there too, about the next steps. <br />
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That's what life should be about, though, right? Always taking the next step, even when it's scary.</div>
Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-49774076032618330502013-05-13T06:49:00.001-07:002013-05-13T06:49:45.716-07:00What should I write? <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">It’s been a long time. It’s not that I have nothing to write, or that I haven’t thought about it. In fact, if I have a free moment, writing is all I think about, and I’ve started several times. I NEED to write. I have this urge to put things in print so that they become real. It helps me to really flesh out the answers to life’s tricky questions. My problem is this: What should I write? How deep do I go? What will the four people who see this think about my scariest darkest thoughts? The things I’ve wanted to write lately are not the happiest of topics. I’ve been stressed and confused and does anyone really want in on all of that???</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I started thinking about why I read the things that I read. Sometimes I read for entertainment, but mostly I’m looking to connect. I want to know that someone else out there has similar struggles, and I want to know what they are doing about it. I want to feel connected and supported. The words I usually get the most out of reading are those that don’t just scratch the surface of something. I want to read the words that dive deep into someone’s thoughts and fears and joys. I want to feel what they are feeling. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So. I made a decision. I will write. It’s mostly for me, but its also for you, if it helps you to know that someone shares your struggles and joys on this journey. If it doesn’t, don’t read it. Please don’t take offense if I write something that you don’t agree with. I don’t write to offend or discourage, but because its for me, I can no longer be concerned about what anyone else will think. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Thank you for your kindness and your grace in allowing me to write freely. </div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-54741379528042471892012-06-21T14:37:00.000-07:002012-06-21T14:37:33.874-07:00Eleven<br />
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Eleven years ago, I was a young, optimistic twenty year old
preparing to marry my best friend. I
knew from the very first day we spent together that I wanted to live this life
with him. We were engaged in a month and
married in less than a year. We like to
say that it was probably a crapshoot…but we’re glad we took the risk!!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kWqiA87njFg/T-OSlo85JSI/AAAAAAAAARo/Kch9_lcPPEs/s1600/JOSHBECCAWYATT.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="162" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-kWqiA87njFg/T-OSlo85JSI/AAAAAAAAARo/Kch9_lcPPEs/s200/JOSHBECCAWYATT.JPG" width="200" /></a>We loved the time we had as a couple, especially since we
hadn’t been together long prior to getting married, and saw each other only on
weekends for much of that time. We closed on our house two days before our
first anniversary, rescued a couple of dogs, and after four years decided to
add to our little family. Planning for a baby with the love of your life might
be the most fun a girl can have. We were so excited, planning and dreaming
together, talking about names and discussing how we would raise our children,
deciding what they might like and do, what we wanted to do the same as and/or
differently than our parents had done. It was pure joy sitting together in the
heat of the late summer watching our little boy move across my bare belly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h2ve_lF3flA/T-OSpXEfuLI/AAAAAAAAAR4/BrW-t96WWog/s1600/8-16-05+052.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-h2ve_lF3flA/T-OSpXEfuLI/AAAAAAAAAR4/BrW-t96WWog/s200/8-16-05+052.jpg" width="200" /></a>Looking back on the first half of our marriage, I know that
we had it easy. Life was good and we had very few worries. I know we’re lucky;
not all couples have that luxury starting out. It allowed us to get to know
each other and build a strong foundation. We had no idea how important that
would become. Liam, now six, has continued to bring us much joy, but his issues
have also been a source of grief, confusion, anger, sadness, regret, guilt, fear,
and anxiety. Our plans for life have had to change drastically. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kV4gl9tYCog/T-OSy_yT8yI/AAAAAAAAASI/3l1DI90VEuQ/s1600/Liam+013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kV4gl9tYCog/T-OSy_yT8yI/AAAAAAAAASI/3l1DI90VEuQ/s200/Liam+013.jpg" width="150" /></a>In our marriage counseling, the pastor told us that my
expectations were higher than those of my husband to be. I have never seen that
as a source of trouble for us. In fact, I think it helps balance us out because
he is able to see things objectively when I am too emotionally involved. On the
other hand, sometimes emotion needs to play a role. We bring unique
perspectives to each obstacle. The reason that this works instead of causing a
rift is because we share a desire to be a team. We know we are better off
together. We know there are things that the other is better at, and we let the
other person take the lead when we know that is best for the family. There are
also times when neither of us knows the answer, or even the direction to travel.
It is these time that I know that I am with the exact right person, because we
are always able to talk through things and come up with the best plan. Side by
side, we keep pushing through, trying to have fun along the way. He told me
recently that everyone gets dealt a hand of cards, some good and some bad. It
is up to us to decide how to play them. He’s so right. We do the best we can
with what we have when it comes to the “bad cards”, and we are thankful for the
“good cards”, using them to our full advantage. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b-SBGKtMVas/T-OT345DBoI/AAAAAAAAASQ/P3JCR5bJBJo/s1600/180520_1694768643216_5046306_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-b-SBGKtMVas/T-OT345DBoI/AAAAAAAAASQ/P3JCR5bJBJo/s320/180520_1694768643216_5046306_n.jpg" width="240" /></a>There are so many things about him that I respect,
appreciate, even NEED that I had never considered in a partner at twenty years
old. My love for my hubby is stronger and our friendship is deeper. I believe
that happened because over the last eleven years he has proved so many of the
vows spoken on that beautiful sunny day to be true. They are no longer merely
words spoken by a couple of kids in love; they are unyielding truths that we
can depend on. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Eleven. I’m a lucky girl. :~)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>And we're dancing in the minefields<br />
We're sailing in the storm<br />
This is harder than we dreamed<br />
But I believe that's what the promise is for<br />
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<i>Andrew Peterson – Dancing in the Minefields</i><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 10pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-46428733503381532402012-05-27T06:53:00.002-07:002012-05-27T06:53:46.478-07:00Good Days<br />
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We recently returned from our best vacation ever. We rented
a house on the <st1:state w:st="on">Oregon</st1:state>
coast. We had no expectations; we just wanted to relax. Neither of us have been
to the <st1:place w:st="on">Pacific Northwest</st1:place>, so we got online and
booked a place. We LUCKED OUT. Last year we did a road trip type trip to <st1:place w:st="on">Yellowstone</st1:place> and back and saw so many amazing and
beautiful parts of the country. However, six hotels in eight days wasn’t the
best thing for a child who has trouble staying quiet, holding still, or
understanding why he would need to be quiet or hold still. So this year, we
rented a whole house with a kitchen and a deck and best of all - no shared
walls! I read a tip today on an autism website today that said to get a place
with a kitchen so you don’t have to eat out at every meal. I think that tip
could easily be extrapolated to this: If you are anyone, with kids or without, a
house is a great idea for a vacation! However, if you are a family who has a
child who may not understand such “social conventions” as not jumping up and
down for hours, and using words to communicate instead of yells, causing anxiety in hotels for his parents,
then a house is not only a great idea, but it is a lifesaver.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Liam kept talking about our “new house” and “new car” and
wondering what happened to his house and his car. We kept explaining that we
were just borrowing these things and would be going back to our old house and
car later. I can’t help but wonder if every time we have been on vacation if he
thinks we’ve moved. I wonder if that’s why on some trips he seemed so out of
sorts. This was the first time he’s been able to communicate those thoughts and
questions, giving us the opportunity to dispel his worry and insecurities. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I won’t bore my handful of readers with every detail of the
mountains, the ocean, the wildlife, the beaches, the fresh fish, the local
culture. or any of the other things we loved about <st1:state w:st="on">Oregon</st1:state>, but I will share my favorite Liam
moment. We climbed this huge sand dune. It had to be two stories high. Liam ran
up it, we huffed and puffed. We got to the top, slid down, and found ourselves
on this huge expanse of beach. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. It
went on for miles. Liam started running. He ran and ran and ran some more. I
imagine he has never felt so free in his little life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We had a whole week of good days. Good days for Liam used to
be few and far between. A combination of his difficulty and frustration with
communicating and our difficulty and frustration trying to understand led to
meltdowns on both sides. In general, these days are gradually becoming farther
and farther apart. We have learned more about how Liam learns, and he is
learning how to communicate. We are working on how to better prepare him for
possibly stressful events. He is figuring out how to calm himself down and get
himself out of overwhelming situations when he needs to. We’re learning and
working hard, and so is he! Even so, we all needed some time off from all of
that hard work. We were all ready for a break, and all of us had a great time. It
was refreshing and encouraging to see Liam so relaxed and happy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’ll leave you with the evidence while I hold my breath…
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<br />Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-14545928265621803932012-03-16T17:05:00.000-07:002012-03-16T17:06:14.861-07:00Our Special Kind of Life<br />
I've been focusing on the negative a lot lately.<br />
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I think about all my plans that I had for my life that didn’t happen, aren’t going to happen, or can’t happen.<br />
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I harbor resentment towards people who take their perfectly developing children for granted. I hate that the simple things for everyone else are SO HARD for us. I am jealous of friends having babies willy-nilly with no concern for what could go wrong. Ok, maybe not willy-nilly exactly, but sometimes it feels that way!<br />
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I wish that I wasn’t working on year five of potty training. I’ve had enough of that shit (literally) to have potty trained at least two, if not three children. Potty training the puppy last spring was a breeze!<br />
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And oh….the screaming and the whining….<br />
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On top of it all, I’m ready for sunshine. On a beach. With a drink in my hand and my hubby by my side.<br />
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Today I am choosing to look at the positive side of things. We have a special kind of life that I don’t want to take for granted. We have joys that not everyone else has!<br />
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Long rides in the car are a favorite way to spend a day. The highway! The cars and trucks! The signs! The ramps! The windmills! Train tracks!! We appreciate the details in life. The way the wheel spins on the toy car! The patterns in the wood on the floor! The soft soft blanket! All weather and surroundings are exciting. The snow! The rain! The wind! The hot! The cold! The dirt! The water! The grass! The sun! The moon! The stars! It’s day! It’s night!<br />
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We cherish smiles. Looking back, it seems like we didn’t get very many. Now I try to remember each one because I know that they could still be locked inside him somewhere. We get to truly marvel in a child’s development. Had things gone according to plan, Liam would have zipped through all of the milestones and probably had a younger sibling to contend with for attention. Instead, we've been able to focus on one thing at a time, and really see and appreciate each step. We celebrate each victory whether its zipping a coat or reading a word. Liam works hard for each one and each one is worth celebrating! Speaking of celebrating, we get to jump up and down and flap our hands when something is exciting!<br />
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We laugh at ourselves when we wish Liam would stop talking for a minute. We laugh because there was a time we heard other parents tell their kids to be quiet, and we were begging Liam to talk, struggling to communicate with limited sign language and some mind-reading. We are more patient people. We see the world a bit differently. We assume there is a reason for everything and try to find it. We recognize that each and every person we meet may be struggling with something that is not visible to the casual observer. Maybe that guy who was rude at the store was struggling to even have been functioning in public at all.<br />
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Liam doesn't lie. He can't. He just doesn't get it, and that is one thing I will NOT try to change!<br />
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I feel better now.<br />
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Liam is a happy, funny kid who is FULL of life and just happens to be on the spectrum. He doesn’t think there is anything wrong or wonder why this happened to him. I don’t ever want to be the reason that his attitude toward this life changes.<br />
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He may have a tough road ahead, but so far he’s tackled every challenge and moved on for more.<br />
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Turns out we are the lucky ones after all.Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-25296455026825483952012-02-10T17:58:00.000-08:002012-02-10T19:01:01.980-08:00The Kindergarten Dilemma<br />
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I have been dreading this. Kindergarten terrifies me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We worked so hard to get Liam where he is today. It took
lots of diligence and patience and busting through red tape to get him the very
best possible treatment. We LOVE his ABA therapy center and feel really blessed
that it has all worked out, and even better, that it is working!! I would love
to leave him there forever. Unfortunately, it doesn’t count as school. In order
for Liam to have a shot at graduating from high school, he must start school by age seven. He’s six, which means this
coming fall, he has to do something that counts as kindergarten, or he can’t
graduate. I’m certainly not willing to take away that option at age six. Sorry.
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We have major problems with starting school. First
and foremost, Liam’s social skills are nearly non-existent. His receptive
language skills are barely there. This makes putting him in a class with a
bunch of other kids and one teacher a very difficult situation for him without
help. Convincing the school that his therapist should attend with him might
prove to be difficult, and getting them to pay for a full time aid is likely
impossible. Our little district just doesn’t have the knowledge or resources,
but Liam is not “bad” enough (according to the school) to qualify for placement
outside the district in a school with better programs and resources. Secondly
is the logistics of the situation. We both work at least half an hour from
where we live and from the school Liam would attend. Even “full day” kindergarten is not a full day.
There is a before and after school program, but I think Liam would crash and
burn being thrown into a free for all like that, especially if he were expected
to do well in class later. It all just sounded like a terrifying nightmare. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We heard about an online charter school. At first I was
extremely excited about this possibility because Liam could remain at the
center, do his schoolwork online with his therapists, continue receiving daily
ABA therapy, and still get credit for kindergarten. However, the more I thought
about it and discussed it with the people who work with Liam, I began to see
that this was only the best option for me…not for him. In order for Liam to
gain real ground in the social aspects of life, he will need to be around
typical kids, where things aren’t quite as scripted as they are in his therapy
sessions. That won’t happen with an online school. The goal, of course, is to
get Liam ready for a real classroom, with a real teacher, and real classmates
who he really interacts with. These are mountains for Liam. Luckily our family
loves the mountains. <o:p></o:p></div>
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A friend suggested a private school near the center where
her son is currently attending. We decided to look into it. This kindergarten program is part of a children’s ministry
at a local mega-church. I met with the director and fell in love. They have a beautiful
facility and a fantastic program that is based on developing relationships and
hands on learning. It has a somewhat Montessori approach, which I loved. The best
part? No IEP needed. They are completely willing to work with Liam’s therapists
and program coordinator, allowing them to be involved in Liam’s curriculum
planning and behavior intervention, etc. We signed him up the first day
registration was open to the public. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So its settled, for one more year anyway. Liam will continue
to ride the van to the center, his therapist will take him to kindergarten and
stay there with him. Then she’ll take him back to the center for the afternoon
and he can continue with his ABA therapy, and they can fill in some gaps that
may need to be addressed before school the next day. Once again we believe we
are putting Liam in the best possible situation for him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I guess we have successfully kicked the terrifying public-school-sink-or-swim
can down the road for at least another year. </div>
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Phew. <o:p></o:p></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-28013275113042630972012-02-07T16:51:00.001-08:002012-02-08T04:51:02.716-08:00Thinking of you today<div><p>My heart is aching for a friend. She got scary diagnosis number three today. I imagine even though this time around she knows the next steps, it doesn't make it any easier. She is such a strong, beautiful momma and is perfect for her boys who need her to guide them on their journey. </p>
<p>It brings back so many emotions for me. I refer to that day as "D-day" in the life of our little family. I both wanted to hear that my assumptions were wrong and also that they were right. It was such a strange dichotomy, and I'm sure other spectrum parents can relate. </p>
<p>The internet has been so wonderful for me. Its been my educator, my outlet, and my lifeline to others who really know how I feel - who can not only sympathize, but EMPATHIZE, truely having been in my shoes and blazed a path before me. They also see through the surface and know  how amazing these kiddos are. I am so thankful for all of the friends I've made along the way. These friends make our life seem not so strange. They help me with the hard days and celebrate the little victories along the way. They point me in the right direction and help to direct my perspective and energy toward positive things.</p>
<p>This friend in particular. We've never met, but I hope our paths cross one day. Love to you and your three boys.  They are made in God's image and are perfect in His sight. And in mine. And so are you. </p>
</div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-30849920035115333722011-11-19T15:44:00.001-08:002011-11-19T15:46:55.292-08:00Cooking with Liam<div>
Liam has started to want to cook with me. Cooking with Liam is much harder and takes much longer. I wouldn't have it any other way. It is so worth a delayed dinner to do something constructive WITH him rather than keeping him occupied while I do it without him. I'm thrilled to be able to involve him in my favorite hobby. "We" even won the chili cook-off at my office!!<br />
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<img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-aWkqZJc7-TQ/Tsg_WElNkqI/AAAAAAAAAQc/r88n0JqNLrs/IMG_20111116_184921.png" /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-21721130871298790042011-11-11T17:42:00.001-08:002011-11-19T15:49:43.806-08:00One Year In...We have hard days. I still struggle on a regular basis with my thoughts about the whys and the hows of autism and what the future holds. I have a hard time taking one day at a time, one challenge at a time.<br />
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Then there are the good days. The days when I can see Liam breaking out of his shell. The days when I can see him interacting with his world and the people in it. The days when I can see how far he has come. The days when I get to see other people love on my child.<br />
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Liam has been attending the ABA therapy center for a year. He is now asking questions and making eye contact and generally trying to be involved with things that I was pretty certain he was completely oblivious to a year ago. People who don't see him often tell me they can see improvement with each visit. My most recent meeting with his program coordinator was fantastic. She said that she has a hard time with his program because he is currently acquiring skills so quickly. We attribute much of this to his current therapist. She has been with Liam since earlier this summer, and he has made drastic strides since then. This to me is such an amazing testament to having the right people involved. <br />
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The sweet man who drives the van had our family over for dinner. It turned out to be a little birthday party for Liam which included his therapist and a couple of other people from the center. They had spent their whole day working with Liam and other kiddos like him, and then spent their evening with us. It was heartwarming to witness the genuine love that these people who were previously strangers have for our son. I couldn't believe it. Liam's village is expanding to include such a fantastic group of people and I can't help but smile. <br />
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We had a birthday party for Liam too. We really haven't attempted that the past few years because Liam usually doesn't deal well with that sort of event. We decided to give it a try this year for his SIXTH birthday, but we did it Liam style. No organized unwrapping of gifts, no forcing everyone in the same room together for singing and cake. We invited family, and a few friends - all of Liam's people. I had so much fun preparing and Liam had a blast. We let him do his own thing, going inside or outside, everyone ate when they wanted and got their cupcakes when they wanted. We had a fire and a hayride. It was a perfect fall day and a very easy and peaceful night. It felt really good to have a party for our son, who truly seemed to "get" for the first time that it was his special day, and his special party. I think maybe this is what this is supposed to feel like.<br />
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I intend to put in a concerted effort to focus on the good things instead of dwelling on the scary things. Instead of obsessing over the bad days, I will be thankful for the good days and keep looking forward to the next one.<br />
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Happy birthday to my sweet Liam! </div>
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<br /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-80372993468056387142011-11-11T17:30:00.001-08:002011-11-11T17:41:22.856-08:00He Has His Momma's EyesWe had another appointment. This one was for Liam's eyes. When he was one, we made a visit to a pediatric opthomologist because one of his eyes appeared to be turning in. At that time, it was determined that we would keep watching it, but that he should grow out of it. We followed up once several months later, but everything looked good, so that was that. At Liam's last appointment with his neurologist, she suggested that we go back just to verify that everything is still okay since he was beginning to focus more on reading and writing. Also, I am severely nearsighted, and my hubby is nearsighted as well. I've had glasses since I was six, so that had been on my radar as well.<br />
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Off we went. Liam did great, even with having to get his eyes dilated. His eyes are physically fine. To no ones surprise, however, he is definitely nearsighted! I guess he has my eyes not only in color, but in this way too. Poor kid!<br />
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I was worried that he wouldn't keep them on his face since we have never been able to get him to leave sunglasses on. He struggled for the first couple of days. At some point, though, I think he realized that he can see better with them on. He just keeps taking these things into his stride and keeps going. What a great kid!<br />
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<br /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-51993891387984622542011-11-11T17:17:00.001-08:002011-11-11T18:13:16.879-08:00Summer is Over?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
I can't believe there are Christmas decorations out in stores..its only August...oh wait. It's November. The 11th of November. Yikes. Here are a few pics from our fun summer. Which is apparently over. </div>
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For starters...we got a new puppy. A yellow (although closer to white) lab who we named Milo. This makes three, and Liam is in heaven. </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mM6MQHXidrA/Tr3JcAPeEUI/AAAAAAAAAPs/Sv1OL7BLkkU/s1600/Milo1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="183" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mM6MQHXidrA/Tr3JcAPeEUI/AAAAAAAAAPs/Sv1OL7BLkkU/s200/Milo1.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SbGTYNt06-0/Tr3JZBk-umI/AAAAAAAAAPU/24625apk9dM/s1600/BoyandDogs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SbGTYNt06-0/Tr3JZBk-umI/AAAAAAAAAPU/24625apk9dM/s1600/BoyandDogs.jpg" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oqbwrq50yFA/Tr3Jamy95EI/AAAAAAAAAPk/uB1i41Fo368/s1600/LiamMilo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oqbwrq50yFA/Tr3Jamy95EI/AAAAAAAAAPk/uB1i41Fo368/s200/LiamMilo.jpg" width="160" /></a></div>
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Liam started riding horses. This is him on Sheba, though he is now mostly riding a lovely fella named Spice.<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fZ0pVYWZENk/Tr3JZl28TFI/AAAAAAAAAPc/p7dw5sDBnII/s1600/Liam+on+sheba.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="247" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-fZ0pVYWZENk/Tr3JZl28TFI/AAAAAAAAAPc/p7dw5sDBnII/s320/Liam+on+sheba.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Did I mention we got a puppy? </div>
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He makes Sherpa / Mommy happy too! He is currently seven moths old and 70 pounds...</div>
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Liam rode his bike in a race. He didn't win, but had FUN! </div>
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Liam discovered waterslides on our vacation to Yellowstone. Six hotels in eight days and he was a trooper!! </div>
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<br /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-72480666973556191242011-11-11T16:56:00.001-08:002011-11-11T17:05:17.288-08:00Happy / Sad<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Liam is learning about emotions and how do determine how people feel based on their facial expression. He was upset about something the other day and said, "Mommy, I'm SAD." Then he made this face:</div>
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Of course I began laughing and couldn't stop.</div>
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I asked him to show me happy and I got this: </div>
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This isn't what he looks like when he is actually happy, but it was fun to see his interpretation!<br />
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These are things I never anticipated having to teach my child. Nevertheless, it is rewarding to see him learning and growing every day!!Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-39514315294329247922011-11-11T16:44:00.001-08:002011-11-11T16:52:54.488-08:00The Dreaded Appointment<br />
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(Re: July 2011)</div>
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Pediatric dentists want to see babies when the first tooth
appears, but the first visit is not to
be completed by the first birthday. They will make sure everything is
developing properly and quiz the parents about whether the child is put to bed
with his bottle. It also begins to establish a familiarity with the process.
Most people, including my dentist, recommend taking a child to the dentist for
the first time around age three, because by then he has all of his teeth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I scheduled an appointment for Liam shortly after his third
birthday. We didn’t go. Liam had been sick and was a crank, and I didn’t think
that would be the greatest timing. I scheduled another appointment shortly
after Liam’s fourth birthday. I had to cancel that one because it was the same
day as his early intervention evaluation. Then I was just plain terrified. I
was certain that Liam would melt down at the dentist. All of the smells,
sounds, lights, tools, and hygienists talking in their best “kid voices” who
mean well, but in would freak out my kid in their attempts at being “fun”.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Liam’s fifth birthday went by, and six months of ABA therapy
went by. We’ve all learned a lot about sensory inputs and how Liam responds. We’ve
had some success desensitizing him in some cases. Fro instance, I can cut his
hair in one sitting instead of three. He still doesn’t like it, but he lets me
get the job done. I still don’t think I could take him somewhere, but probably
wouldn’t anyway! <o:p></o:p></div>
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No five year old should go without a visit to the dentist,
especially one whose mother has HORRIBLE teeth. I located a dentist who has
experience with autism, and more important, will tailor their approach to make
every kid comfortable. I filled out all of the paperwork and told all of Liam’s
secrets. I scheduled another appointment – this one we were keeping. No matter
what. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I started preparing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I bought books to read to Liam. We talked about going to the
dentist and what would happen. We Googled pictures of people at the dentist so
he wouldn’t expect everything to be exactly like Dora’s or Spongebob’s
accounts. We practiced opening wide and counting his teeth. We talked about the
big chair that moves, the light, the sink, the tools, the sounds, and the new
toothbrush at the end. A month later, Liam was excited. We were as ready as
possible.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When the long anticipated day finally arrived, we went in
and were greeted by a welcoming décor – part tiki hut, part tropical
rainforest. We waited only a few minutes and were called back. They led us to a
private exam room. Liam explored everything. He pointed to things and told us
what everything was and what it was for. The hygienist smiled at me and said, “You’ve
been getting ready for this for a while, yes?” Yes. You have no idea. Yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Once Liam had adequately checked everything out, the hygienist
asked him to climb into the chair. He hopped right up. She moved Liam up and
down a few times, then leaned him back. She turned the light on and of and
gently angled it so as not to shine it in his eyes. She let him taste the
toothpaste and see the spinning toothbrush. She turned on the toothbrush and
touched it. He touched it. She didn’t think it was weird that he rubbed his
cheek on it. Then she began. She was perfect. She let him call all of the
shots, stopping when he needed a break, giggling at how his tongue kept getting
in the way. The dentist came in and was equally perfect with Liam. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was impressed at the ability of the entire staff to be so accommodating,
I was certain that this would be a horrible experience and was ready for the
daddy of all meltdowns. I was SO relieved that this went so well. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1VL_uWBG7h0/Tr3Cs6RRELI/AAAAAAAAAO8/6mBMjirCkEY/s1600/LiamDentist.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1VL_uWBG7h0/Tr3Cs6RRELI/AAAAAAAAAO8/6mBMjirCkEY/s320/LiamDentist.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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And Liam. LIAM. He was so awesome. I learned that with
enough of the right preparation, we can get through anything. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-90965857545137290262011-06-14T15:54:00.000-07:002011-06-14T15:55:56.755-07:00On Kindness<div class="MsoNormal">I have expected that it would happen. I have been preparing myself for it. I have considered the possibilities. I have thought about the proper response. But it has not actually happened…until today. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know that Liam will get made fun of. I know that he will be teased. I know that kids are mean and lots of adults are, too. I don’t know whether Liam will understand when kids are making fun of him or not. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Today was a beautiful day. I had left work and was parked at the CVS Pharmacy where I meet Liam’s van every day, waiting for my boy to arrive. I had the sunroof open, windows down, and was enjoying the five minutes of freedom that I get every day. I noticed a group of boys, probably high school age, with their bikes, hanging out, also enjoying the nice summer day. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">In my rearview mirror, I saw Liam’s van pulling in. As I reached for the door handle, I stopped cold. I heard one of the boys say, “<st1:place><st1:placename>Applied</st1:placename> <st1:placename>Behavior</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>Center</st1:placetype></st1:place> for <i>AUTISM</i>? Oh my god!!” The entire group then burst out laughing. I know they weren’t specifically laughing at my boy, or the sweet little girly who rides with him, but they may as well have been. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Inside, I was SEETHING. I proceeded to get out of the truck and head towards where the van had parked. The boys were immediately silent. Once I had retrieved my happy, smiling boy, we headed back towards the truck and towards the boys who were obviously staring and trying to get a good glimpse at what was inside the van. Liam, in his perfectly sweet and innocent voice said, “The boys ride bikes to CVS.” I smiled and said, “Yes, Liam, those boys rode their bikes to CVS. Doesn’t that look like fun?” I turned the edges of my mouth up, forcing a smile in their direction since I KNEW they had seen and heard our perfect exchange. I’m certain that my smile was less than genuine. A year ago, Liam would not have been capable of this “conversation”, and I was SO proud. As I pulled away, I stole one more glance toward the group (who was still looking at us) and one of the boys gave me a sort of sheepish smile. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I was so angry and hurt that I didn’t even know how to process what had happened. I wanted so badly to tell those boys exactly what I thought of their laughter. I wanted to tell them that they are all very lucky to live where they live and to have what they have and that they don’t have struggles like other children do. I wanted to tell them that my boy is perfect just how he is and I how glad I am that he isn't a mean boy like them. I wanted to tell them HOW HARD we have worked to get Liam enrolled in that school and on that van. I wanted them to know all of the crazy twisted emotions that I feel every time I see the van. (None of which involve laughter.) I wanted them to be ashamed and to feel what I felt for one single moment. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I didn’t say any of those things. I felt sort of sorry for them that they had never learned to be kind to others. These boys will be men in a few short years and will have families of their own and run businesses and enter government roles. I truly hope that between now and then they learn a few things about how to live among other people. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am so thankful that Liam is still oblivious to these sorts of things. At this point, he can’t really even express the actual emotions that he feels, let alone respond in a way contrary to how he feels. I don’t know how to go about teaching him how to respond with love and kindness, even when the feelings inside may not match. I’m still learning this myself. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I truly dread the day that Liam figures out that people are not always nice, and they won’t always tell him that he’s doing a great job or that they love him. He spends his days surrounded by people who love him and who are working hard to bring out the best in him, and I wish that would never have to change. I know it will, though, and I know it will be hard. Maybe these boys were there today to begin to prepare <i>me</i> for this part of our journey. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-86328869989121880542011-05-23T19:52:00.000-07:002011-05-24T16:55:21.171-07:00Thoughts on Temple Grandin’s Talk<div class="MsoNormal">I have wanted to go to the <st1:place><st1:placename>Indianapolis</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>Art Museum</st1:placetype></st1:place> since I moved here almost ten years ago and I finally got my chance. But not to see the art exhibits, or the surrounding 100 acres of gardens. We went to one of a series of talks hosted by the IMA and given by <st1:place><st1:placetype>Temple</st1:placetype> <st1:placename>Grandin</st1:placename></st1:place>! </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Josh and I were lucky enough to obtain tickets (thanks Jane!), dropped Liam off at Ga-Ga and Big Dad’s house, drove to the IMA, and found our seats. I was really curious to see and hear <st1:city><st1:place>Temple</st1:place></st1:city> speak. I have read a couple of her books and have read a lot about her, but I was still excited to actually see her in person.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">She got up on stage and started talking. I was amazed at how much she had to share. She certainly could have filled the entire SERIES of talks, and instead had to squeeze what she wanted to say into one measly hour. I was also struck by the fact that she was funny. I didn’t expect her to make jokes about autism or people on the spectrum, but she did. My favorite was her description of the spectrum itself. She said on one end there were the really severe cases of people who may never speak or have real relationships or be able to hold a job, etc., and on the other end are geeks and nerds. The way she said it so casually was funny to me. I have spent the last year or so in some sort of a fog thinking that Liam’s diagnosis was the worst thing that could have happened to him and to us. <st1:city><st1:place>Temple</st1:place></st1:city> doesn’t feel that way at all. She thinks that the world would be a pretty tragic place to live without the people on the spectrum lending their perspectives. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">She described herself as a visual thinker. She said that she basically has endless amounts of hard drive space in her brain where she stores pictures of everything she has ever seen. They are filed away into categories. When someone says “dog” or “church steeple”, pictures of every dog or church steeple flash through her head, like a Google images search. She said that she can stop on any one photo and it will turn into a movie, playing out possible scenarios. Her knowledge and ability to understand is limited to what she has stored in her files. Therefore, it is SO important to get these kids out and about and expose them to as much as possible. We need to build up their little hard drives so they have more to draw from later in life. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">At some point, I started taking notes because I didn’t want to forget some of the things she said that I was really struck by:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><ol start="1" style="margin-top: 0in;" type="1"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">If you’re going to teach your autistic child to look both ways before crossing the street, teach him to look both ways at ten different streets so he can begin to generalize it. </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">Visual thinkers like <st1:city><st1:place>Temple</st1:place></st1:city> have bottom up thinking instead of top down thinking like verbal thinkers. They don’t picture the house and then decide what pieces it needs…they think about each individual piece and eventually get to the whole picture. They fixate on details. </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><st1:city><st1:place>Temple</st1:place></st1:city> can’t hold one thing in her mind while manipulating another piece of information. Case in point: If I ask Liam to go get his shoes, then ask him some question, and he answers the question, I shouldn’t expect him to remember that I asked him to get his shoes. Sometimes I forget this in the morning when we're rushing to get out of the house. Turn off your light! Put on your shoes! Say bye to Daddy! Where's your coat? Paralysis....</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;"><st1:city><st1:place>Temple</st1:place></st1:city> was shocked to learn that others didn’t think like her. Maybe we are approaching this whole thing wrong. Maybe we shouldn’t be trying to “fix” how Liam thinks, rather figuring out how he thinks and approach his education from a direction that he understands! </li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">If visual thinkers and verbal “typical” thinkers work together, amazing successes can be achieved. The two ways of thinking compliment each other and serve to cover all angles of an issue. Imagine a beautiful bridge or building where someone forgot to focus on the details. It could be disaster!</li>
</ol><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am still processing so much of what she said that night because SO MUCH of it seemed to apply to my sweet boy. I really saw him from a different angle that night. I have struggled immensely with this diagnosis, but Liam is still Liam, as I’ve said before, and the diagnosis is just a terrifying word. His mind works differently than mine, and my job as his momma and his sherpa in this life is to see things from his perspective. I always say I wish I could get inside his little head. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Maybe this is a start. </div><div class="MsoNormal">Thanks <st1:city><st1:place>Temple</st1:place></st1:city>. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-1300495568573391302011-05-17T05:06:00.001-07:002011-05-17T05:06:56.044-07:00It still gets me...<div><p>Sometimes when I am behind Liam's van I still get choked up by a crazy combination of emotions. I still can't believe MY boy is in there, even though its been almost eight months. I still feel extremely fortunate that we are able to give him the absolute best possible thing. </p>
<p>Drive carefully red van, you are carrying precious cargo!! </p>
<br/><img src='http://lh5.ggpht.com/_F8BsfIGmrR8/TdJk3hVMMFI/AAAAAAAAAO4/lgd2rt4P5n8/IMG069.png' /></div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-47715361146344931222011-04-27T17:29:00.000-07:002011-04-27T17:31:07.574-07:00The Gum Situation“Mommy Can I have some gum?”<br />
<br />
I love hearing those sweet little words. Six words in a row that form a complete and polite and perfect question. Not only that, but it’s a question I rarely feel the need to say no to! I have said no, but really, who needs four pieces of gum in five minutes time?<br />
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<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3sqhYWnZCM8/Tbiy8MFrhPI/AAAAAAAAAOs/wrv0u-IXGlU/s1600/IMG_2127.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3sqhYWnZCM8/Tbiy8MFrhPI/AAAAAAAAAOs/wrv0u-IXGlU/s320/IMG_2127.JPG" width="203" /></a>Liam LOVES gum. All kinds of gum. It can be big or little, soft or hard, minty or fruity or cinnamony or sour. He loves it all. I used to think he didn't really know what kinds we had or what kind he is given to chew. I have realized that I was dead wrong. We have had a recent influx of gum due to the Easter bunny’s visit and the arrival of a package from Grandma and Grandpa, and no two packs were alike. The gum section of the cabinet is now overflowing. In fact I am looking into a new storage option since I usually have just one pack of gum open at a time…and apparently that isn't enough.<br />
<br />
Last night Liam asked for green gum. I pulled out the open pack of watermelon. He said, “No! Apple!” I responded, “I don’t think we have any apple gum, buddy. Just take this.”<br />
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[Insert minor freak-out here.]<br />
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“Fine, Liam. Get a chair and show me.”<br />
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[Insert dragging of chair to cabinet.]<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rW0o1P0G0i0/Tbiy82kDK3I/AAAAAAAAAOw/guWtS1rvAAs/s1600/IMG_2140.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rW0o1P0G0i0/Tbiy82kDK3I/AAAAAAAAAOw/guWtS1rvAAs/s200/IMG_2140.JPG" width="200" /></a>“This one!!” He exclaims while handing me a brand new pack of apple gum. How the heck did he know it was in there and I didn't? You’d think by now I’d have learned not to doubt him. :~)Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-4847801069264402962011-04-13T17:43:00.000-07:002011-04-14T18:01:32.339-07:00A True Testament<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PzE4qVdiag4/TaZA6crw8CI/AAAAAAAAAOo/94qnesW7KTY/s1600/IMG_20110413_174044.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PzE4qVdiag4/TaZA6crw8CI/AAAAAAAAAOo/94qnesW7KTY/s400/IMG_20110413_174044.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>Tonight there was a fundraiser for Liam's center at Monkey Joe's. This is exactly the sort of place I would have NEVER attempted to take my sweet boy a year ago - or even six months ago! Tons of loud kids all running around like maniacs and drinking caffeine and eating pizza. Not to mention the climbing, jumping, sliding, bouncing, and other assorted mayhem. <br />
<br />
But we went. For an hour.<br />
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Liam LOVED it. He would have stayed all night. I loved it too because he wasn't as bothered by the chaos and noise as I expected him to be. Granted, its a big place and it was a weeknight, so I imagine it gets way worse...but still. He was amazing.<br />
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I was talking to one of the therapists who was there. She made a very casual comment about how much fun Liam was having. I fought back tears as I told her what a testament to the center's work in his little life this night was. <br />
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In our house, we celebrate the small victories. <br />
Keep climbing Liam!!Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-1561822851581518532011-04-13T17:08:00.000-07:002011-04-13T17:21:04.141-07:00The Here and Now<div class="MsoNormal">(Re: Right Now!) </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now you are all caught up. That is the short version of the beginning of this journey. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Liam receives one on one therapy all day, every day, and he is thriving! They started out by figuring out what skills he had, and started filling in the ones he was missing piece by piece. We are six months in, and everyone says they can see a difference in him. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He not only loves his school and his therapists, but is doing so well! He is gaining so many skills and is starting to figure out how to interact with his world. He has a long way to go, but we are definitely on the right path. We will postpone his entrance to kindergarten until the fall of 2012, so that he will have a solid foundation of <st1:city><st1:place>ABA</st1:place></st1:city> under his tiny little belt. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I have my ups and downs. I go through periods where I am very optimistic about Liam’s future, and I go through very dark times as well. I have a lot of guilt. I cry a lot. I read a lot. I talk to everyone I can about their experiences. I worry about the 80% divorce rate of couples with autistic children. I worry that other people will be mean to Liam. I wonder why this is happening to him. Josh handles it better than I do. He doesn’t worry so much. His approach is to take what we’ve been given and what we have to work with and move forward. He is my rock. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-45108175752031889362011-04-13T17:07:00.004-07:002011-04-13T17:21:36.804-07:00The Rest of the School Story<div class="MsoNormal">(Re: July – September 2010)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I got back to the office and prepared my appeal to the insurance company who had initially denied coverage to Liam because we didn’t have a diagnosis and sent that on its way. (Many other details of my glamorous life of phone calls and paperwork have been removed so I don’t lose your attention.)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Several days later, I received a call that they would be extending coverage to Liam!!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Two pieces of our puzzle were finally in place. We had a diagnosis and an insurance policy to help us pay for Liam’s care!! Too bad the school I had intended to send him no longer had an opening…..</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Luckily, there are a few other center-based <st1:city><st1:place>ABA</st1:place></st1:city> therapy programs in the area. We selected another one and began their enrollment process. They are located much farther away, but they offer transportation! Liam started after Labor Day. I meet the van at a CVS Pharmacy near my office in the morning and the afternoons. The van takes him to the center and back each day. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We were so blessed that everything worked out like it did. Nevertheless, I was pretty terrified to send Liam off to this therapy center all day everyday in a van driven by some guy I’d met once. Not to mention the ever-lurking fear of what comes next????</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3938354873579580204.post-72817868298868226932011-04-13T17:07:00.002-07:002011-04-13T17:22:04.891-07:00D-Day<div class="MsoNormal">(Re: <st1:date day="30" month="6" year="2010">June 30, 2010</st1:date>)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">D-Day is how I refer to the day Liam was given a shiny name for his issues. We loved the neurologist that we chose because she had the earliest appointment. Liam loved her, and I truly think he knows about people, even if he can’t always show it. We all talked for a long while, and she watched Liam be Liam. She kept saying “these kiddos”. I finally asked her what she was going to do, diagnosis-wise. She rattled off several official and scary sounding disorders and explained what they all meant. I asked if they were on the spectrum. She said that they weren’t technically on the spectrum, but that there was definitely plenty there to put him there. She said that she doesn’t like to simply give one of the spectrum diagnoses because they encompass SO MUCH. She said all of the other big words she gave him and more descriptive of Liam specifically. She said its not about the diagnosis, its about what will help Liam. She then recommended and prescribed <st1:city><st1:place>ABA</st1:place></st1:city> therapy. I told her that I had been researching and I knew that without a diagnosis on the spectrum, we didn’t have a shot in hell of paying for <st1:city><st1:place>ABA</st1:place></st1:city> therapy. So, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) it is. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Sherpa / Mommyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17266143704731486431noreply@blogger.com0